Pneumatised!

MM,

I went for a two-mile run on Saturday, October 7. I was missing my running again. The two-mile run was hard. My time has slowed down a bit since I have not been able to keep up with the running recently. (I blame it on the bad weather in September. It was cold and dark. October so far seems to be warmer and brighter.) The time for my first mile was 9 minutes 6 seconds, more than a minute too slow. The time for the second mile was 9 minutes 4 seconds. My total time was 18 minutes 10 seconds for two miles.

I tried to do another run on Monday, October 9, but I was a little dehydrated and made the mistake of drinking water right before my run. I ended up with cramps at three-quarter of a mile. I basically spent about 17 minutes walking and running a mile and a half route. I didn’t track the time well for this run since I cramped and ended up walking so much. I just gave up on the time and focused on getting the exercise instead. After I was almost home, I managed a sprint. It took that much walking to get rid of the slight cramps.

I plan on getting some more running in this week if I can. Between taekwondo, the gym, and running, it’s a wonder I can stay awake and get things done. I need to increase the amount of running and the distance I run soon because the 10k run at my do jang is on November 3. I have to at least get up to a 5 km (3.25 miles) run. I have to run 5 km at least twice to be ready for the 10k run again.

Okay, it’s raining right now and I’ve been up since 3 a.m. – I think it’s time I get some more food and some rest.

BB,
Cassandrah
Brigid’s Flame

MM,

Paganism! As if there was any doubt in my mind!

You scored as Paganism. Your beliefs are most closely aligned with those of paganism, Wicca, or a similar earth-based religion. You may also follow a Native American religion. Paganism 100% Buddhism 92% Satanism 83% Hinduism 63% Islam 50% Judaism 42% agnosticism 42% Christianity 25% atheism 25%

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

Overall, not surprising to me, except for Satanism. Must be my alternate universe “evil Cass” answering sometimes. 😉 It’s strange how a person’s opinions can change over time. As a teen, I was repulsed by the Satanic Bible and couldn’t even read more than few pages in it. It seemed to be degrading to people overall (though I suppose I should just read it before I pass final judgment on it). Something about it just seems “off” to me. However, I do think people should be allowed to experience pleasure in their lives as long as you don’t infringe on anyone else’s basic human rights. Maybe that’s where my 83% Satanism is coming from. I highly doubt I could practice it.

I was fascinated by Islam after reading the Biography of Malcolm X and watching the movie. His experiences when he traveled to Mecca were remarkable. It really made me want to go. Unfortunately, non-Muslims are not allowed entry into Mecca. Since I disagree with some important issues in Islam, I could never be Muslim.

Hinduism is fascinating. Like every religion, it has its good points and its bad points. I have some acquaintances who are Hindu and they are quite tolerant people. The mythology is intriguing. I get the sense that some of the deities are quite powerful, though I haven’t had time to explore this pantheon.

I grew up with subtle forms of Buddhism. I still like it. It’s peaceful and tolerant, much like Wicca and paganism. I think for me, Buddhism and Wicca work well together. Buddhism states that “all life is suffering” whereas Wicca tries to appreciate life as much as possible and just accepts the suffering as part of learning, growing and enlightenment. If I were to practice only Buddhism, I think I’d get depressed, but Wicca helps to balance that. (Related blog: Comparing Wicca and Buddhism)

I guess I’m lucky to be practicing a spirituality that suits me best!

BB,
Cassandrah
Brigid’s Flame

MM,

I’m fasting today. I got a call last week from my Wiccan teacher saying that I was to do something tonight. In addition, I needed to fast for 24 hours first. Thus, I’m fasting today. Last night, I ate some spicy shrimps and some potatoes with egg, cheese, bacon, and scallops. Yum! I want some now, but trying not to think of it. That was around 5:00 p.m. yesterday. I haven’t had any food since then. So far, I had some consomme last night. Then today, some chicken broth – two cans of it. I might have some more chicken broth before I go out tonight – leaving at 6:30. For some flavour, I decided to have a chrysanthemum infusion. There is some sweetness to the flower, so yum.

I’m nervous about tonight as I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing. My guess is that I’m doing an impromptu ritual. I was told to bring my athame and my ritual gear. So, I’m a tad nervous, but trying not to be. The nervousness combined with the fast will just make me that much more tired. I’ll try to have a nap before I go out tonight.

My group met last week for ritual. It was an interesting ritual. To sum up, it was a ritual where we took a retrospective look at our past choices to see how we got to where we are without beating ourselves up over our choices. This was something I’ve done many times before. I’ve always been a little introspective about my life. For some reason, I never thought to do this type of work in a ritual. In any case, the idea was a great idea. The ritual was nicely performed considering it was put together at the last possible minute. Unfortunately, I didn’t need to look at my past choices right now. I’ve spent the past six months to a year doing this, and I’ve been fine with the choices I’ve made in life, so I just feel it’s time to move on right now. Time to do the things I was meant to do. Not that I didn’t find the ritual useful – it was just the wrong time for me personally to do something like that. My life feels like it’s moving forward now, and it feels “right”. Right now, I just need to keep my objectives in mind and focus on now.

Last week, I went to the full moon ritual in the park. Of course, I ended up being Priestess that night. This group is fairly small. I think it’s because people find it hard to go to the park in the colder months. That’s alright. Small groups are fine. There were four of us, my teacher, Nathan, another girl, and me. We did a ritual to show appreciation for the inventions that we have that help keep us warm and safe and healthy during the colder months. The deities called were Athena and Hephaestus. I had to make up a call to Hephaestus as well as the fire and earth elements. It was good practice for me. I still have to be conscious of my voice volume. For some reason, I adjust my voice to the amount of people present, but that doesn’t work well in the park. I need to adjust to the environment, not to the amount of people present. Ah… at least, I’m getting better at speaking indoors. Being Summoner is helping me get used to the vocal rance I need.

Speaking of being Summoner, Sunday’s public ritual was about love -the many types of love. The deities called were Aphrodite and Eros. The ritual was lovely, though being Summoner I missed hearing most of it. I have to keep watch on the people as well as the Priestess. It’s strange how as Summoner I’m connected on one level, but not on another. I’m so glad I have the other group rituals to go to – I can still get my spiritual connection there as well as through my personal rituals.

Okay, I’m getting tired again. No food at all. Lying here reading and a nap should help me conserve what energy I have. I can’t wait to get home tonight – I can eat then!

BB,
Cassandrah
Brigid’s Flame

MM,

I went to tai chi class on Tuesday night. We got to learn more of the forms, and we got a few more tips on some of the basics. I’m happy because I remember a bit more of the forms now. I suspect it shouldn’t take me long to learn the forms, but it’s just a matter of how often I go. I’m doing tai chi as a complement, so I don’t expect to go very often. Nathan’s promised to show me the new stuff.

Tai chi is great for warming up the body, but there is not enough cardio. Consequently, I feel a need to go to taekwondo. I’ve been away again for about two weeks from the do jang, so I went on Wednesday. I got there in time to help out with the poomse class. I kind of missed teaching. I wish I could it more often, but I suppose it’s good enough for now. After the poomse, I took the regular class and then the half hour afterwards. During the half hour class, we get to work on stuff we want to work on which is good for me. I get to work on stuff we don’t normally do in class, although I am limited by the fact that we have to work in pairs. I find I get annoyed having to work in pairs all the time at taekwondo. I miss the old do jang for the teaching style only, but I very much like the atmosphere and the Master at this one more. I guess that’s why I like tai chi, they teach the same way as my old do jang, but still not overly formal. It’s just good to work on my stuff without worrying about my partner as tends to happen when training in pairs. I just don’t want to do taekwondo all the time when I have to work in pairs all the time. Sometimes you just want to focus on yourself and no one else.

After the do jang, I went to the gym and did some light weight training. I did most of my exercises, but I was a little tired already so I skipped some that worked muscles other exercises already worked. The list below shows what I did.

Leg lifts
Pull-ups (aka chin-ups, military and parallel)
Dips
Leg press
Hamstring flexor (called seated leg curls)
Hip adductors
Hip abductors
Seated row
Seated chest press
Shoulder fly
Shoulder lift (this is called the shoulder press)
Back extensor

Free weights:
Situps (on a incline bench; worked out the obliques as well by doing double punches during the situp)
Bicep curls
Push-ups

I spent about ten minutes stretching out. With the weather getting colder, my muscles are tensing up a bit. I was pretty sore from tai chi class already, taekwondo warmed me up, and the weight training made some muscles feel tight again. Some good stretches were needed. I’m a little tight on some of my stretches again – splits, butterfly, hamstrings, calves – but I felt better after stretching. My back cracked too while I was stretching out. Hehe… feels good when it does that sometimes.

I’ve been up since around 4:30 a.m. today, so I need a nap before I go out later. Not sure if I can get a run in today. 🙁 I’ll try, but I’ll see what time I actually wake up. I’m feeling pretty worn out. Too much to do, so little time. I sometimes wish I could make a clone or a robot of myself, but that could be disastrous.

BB,
Cassandrah
Brigid’s Flame

MM,

Things seem to be getting back into a normal pace again after the craziness of the summer and the beginning of autumn. That time of the year always seems to be frantic for some reason. I guess in some ways it makes sense. From early August to the end of October is the harvest period in traditional Wiccan mythology. Maybe when this time of the year comes around people need to feel like they’ve harvested something so they try to get some project or other done. It seems strange to me now that the school year starts in the fall. Spring is the time of beginnings, and autumn the time of turning inward and reaping our rewards. Hm… perhaps even though school starts in the autumn, it is the turning inward that makes autumn a good season for returning to studies.

The public ritual on Sunday was a Wiccaning. This is similar to the idea of a Christening; however, a Wiccaning does not make a Wiccan. A person must choose to be Wiccan of their own volition and can be brought up with Wiccan parents. A Wiccaning does not mean the child will necessarily be a Wiccan later on in life, nor is it expected. One can hope, but it is not expected.

“What then is a Wiccaning?” you may ask. A Wiccaning is done for a new-born child as a way to introduce the child to the deities and the community. The parents bring the child forth and present their child to the Priest and Priestess (who are servants of the deities), then the child is brought around the circle to each of the elemental quarters to receive blessings and tokens from each of the four elements (air, fire, water, earth). The child’s chosen godparents then come forth and speak their vows to look over the child when the parents cannot. This includes situations where the child may be in dispute with the parents. The godparents are there to help the parents, but it is to the child’s best interest that they swear an oath. Finally, the child is given a Wiccan name – a spiritual name.

A Wiccaning is as much for the parents as it is for the child. The child now has a community to turn to if she/he needs help. The parents also know that they have a community to turn to if they ever need help with their child.

One of the most beautiful aspects of this ritual is the affirmation that the deities and the elements will look over the child. Hopefully, the deities will help guide the child along its journey through life.

The ritual concludes with the parents taking the child around to each person present and introducing the new-born to the community.

As Summoner for this ritual, I could not help thinking “This is my community. I’m proud of this community for the love it is willing to give to a new-born, a complete stranger that we have yet to get to know.” I think that this ritual in particular shows how connected the people in this community can be. It shows how much faith and trust we have not just in the deities, but in each other. That night I noticed many people touched by the ritual. Part of that may come from a wish that they had a ritual like that done for them when they were new-born. Since Wicca is just over 50 years old as a religion, there are many Wiccans (like myself) who were not born into the religion. They never had this ritual as a new-born. Of course, there is a Dedication that a Wiccan may choose to have, but somehow it doesn’t seem the same. In a Wiccaning, there is a conscious choice of the parents to keep the best interests of their child in mind, even if it may conflict with their views and opinions – obviously something that is very hard for many parents to do.

A Wiccaning sometimes involves a feast and presents. However, since this one was done as a public ritual and wasn’t an invitational Wiccaning, that is, no one knew ahead of time, feast and presents weren’t expected by the parents. I thought that was a wonderful thing for the parents to do. They didn’t expect anything – they just wanted to share their new-born child with everyone in the community and the deities.

I still find Wiccanings to be a very beautiful ritual, despite my radical opinion that not having children right now is a better idea. (Note: rant starts here.) I just feel it would be better to adopt one of the many “parent-less” children out there. There are so many that need a home. If I had the resources (generally, money), I would adopt a child. The other reason why I don’t think having children is a good idea is because the planet is grossly over-populated. The reason, of course, is that there are more births than deaths. If our birth rate keeps up, we won’t have much of a planet left. In case anyone else has noticed, our natural resources are going to die out – and sooner than you might think. Basically, there is a catch here. If you want to have a planet around for the next generation, people need to have less children. Think of the many children who are already born who comprise the next generation. We’re just using up this planet before the next generation even has a chance to live. I guess to sum this up, please consider adopting a child if you really want to have one. Parents who have adopted are known to comment that you don’t need to be blood related to love a child as your own. Love is not tied by blood. A Wiccaning can be done for an adopted child as well – I don’t see a reason why not. (End rant.)

BB,
Cassandrah
Brigid’s Flame

MM,

I went for a run. It has been a while since I did some serious running, so I decided to head out on my mile and a half route. I ended up running most of it, and walked the last quarter mile. My time for the first part was 8 minutes 51 seconds. Walking the last quarter mile took 4 minutes 56 seconds.

The change in weather the past month has affected my motivation to run. I think my body just wants to hibernate. It is the dark time of the year again. It’s funny how I always feel better after the winter solstice – it’s the waning sunlight that affects me. The 10k run at my do jang is around the first week of November, so I’ll have to push up the running. This time we are running in the evening. That will suit me better considering my nocturnal habits. 🙂

Hopefully, next week I can motivate myself better and get out for some longer runs. Things feel like they are settling down a bit, and the exercise will help. I just have to keep my goal in mind.

BB,
Cassandrah
Brigid’s Flame

MM,

Occasionally, I go on message boards. This time an interesting topic was brought up, and it spawned some amusing comments.

The topic was pretty much “what is pagan?”. Through that it was mentioned that many of the Asian cultures are “pagan” in practice. This was something that I personally observed as well, myself being part of the Asian culture (specifically Chinese). It was early in my studies in paganism that I realized that the practices that my mother engaged in were pagan. Realizing this and also knowing a bit about my ancestors (who were likely peasants, not poor, but peasants nonetheless), I concluded that through my bloodline I was born pagan. My ancestors were, for all practical purposes, pagans (though I hesitate to call modern Chinese people pagan because I don’t like placing labels on people and some Chinese may follow other religions such as Christianity, Catholicism, or Buddhism). Such is why I always called myself “pagan” and do not call myself “neo-pagan”.

I consciously choose to follow Wicca (a neo-pagan religion) and practice witchcraft because I felt a connection to these practices. Strangely enough, it was my Wiccan studies that sparked a renewed interest in studying my own culture more, in particular its spiritual practices.

Chinese culture is fascinating because it is quite rich and varied. The country itself started out with different tribes. Along the way, different groups emerged and mixed together. China, the country, is named for its first emperor, Qin, whose rule began in 221 B.C. Prior to that, China was divided into distinct territories and cultures. It is only recently within the last sixty years that China has been able to have some stability. The people of China over time developed and adopted many different spiritual systems. They weren’t afraid of learning foreign ideas. Thus, they adopted Buddhism from India at a time when China already had Taoism. The Chinese people today tend to be a mix of Taoist, Confucianist, and Buddhist (Ch’an Buddhist to be more precise) – quite an eclectic mix. Perhaps that is why I consciously choose to be eclectic in my spirituality.

My mother is traditional Chinese. She mixes Taoist, Confucianist, and Buddhist ideas while continuing to practice some folk traditions. The folk traditions of China before it was China likely became absorbed into Confucianist and Ch’an Buddhist practices. My mother follows the traditional Chinese calendar (the lunisolar one I discussed before on this blog) as a way of keeping track of when certain spiritual rites should be performed – the most common ones being the autumn moon festival and the new year’s festival. It has been only recently that I’ve looked at other festivals that are celebrated by following the Chinese lunisolar calendar. Coincidentally, many of these festivals fall around the same time as the Wiccan Sabbats. 😀

I grew up with some very pagan practices, even if I didn’t understand them at the time. Now, I’m fortunate to have the chance to study these practices and have a reference point for whether or not I’m getting it right. (Thanks, Mom!)

Thus, even though I follow a neo-pagan religion (Wicca), I am very much pagan in heritage.

BB,
Cassandrah
Brigid’s Flame

P.S. Time being the way it is, I haven’t had any time to study Chinese history in more depth. 🙁

MM,

Yay! I finally got out for some fresh air and a run. It was a short run though. I ended up doing so much that I didn’t have time for a longer run before I met up with Nathan. In any case, I did a half mile run at a decent pace – 4 minutes 25 seconds. I hope to get some more exercise this week. I need it. I tend to get sick when I don’t exercise.

BB,
Cassandrah
Brigid’s Flame

MM,

This past Sunday was my first ritual as Summoner. It was an interesting night. Since it was a Sabbat night (Harvestide), the temple ended up quite packed. It was hard for me to keep an eye on everything going on inside the circle with a packed house and also considering my height (5’3″). Overall though, I felt I did a good job. I can get better at it, I know that already. It being my first night as Summoner, I was a tad nervous. Over time, I will just get comfortable and used to being in public so much that it should be almost second nature. I was always a little shy in front of large groups, but never quite as shy in front of people I’m comfortable with. Such is the reason I decided to do this. I wanted to get used to being in front of a large group of people whose attention would be focused on me. (In taekwondo, it occurs to me the students are more concerned with making a mistake and their own training instead of how I’m teaching them. Perhaps that is why it is easier being in front of the taekwondo students.)

The ritual was an interesting ritual. Being Summoner is definitely different than being a participant. You are denied the emotional connection to divinity on one level, but are still connected on another. I did feel more grounded. This also allowed me to think about the ritual on a more practical level, and I also got to watch other people’s reactions to the ritual experience.

Since it was a feast night, it was a long night. People tend to linger for a while. Since it is my duty to keep an eye on the Priestess and ensure her safetey, I stayed until she had left. Her husband was Priest for the ritual, so he did much looking out for her, which definitely helped.

Overall, I think people are receptive to having a woman act as Summoner, a role traditionally given to a man of the community. I think my experience as a martial artist has helped me in this. I’m not unfamiliar with being in an authority position since I have experience teaching taekwondo. In my experience, if you are confident in what you are doing, people sense that and will be more confident in you in response.

After the ritual, I was asked by some of my acquaintances and friends how I liked being Summoner so far. So far, it’s good. I like it. It is something I always wanted to do for the community. It’s something that I think suits me naturally – I’ve always had more yang energy in the sense of being active instead of yin which is associated with being passive.

I was pretty tired when I got home that night. I didn’t eat much all day because I was a little sick last week. In fact, I’m still a little sick, but I’m getting over it. There has been much excitement this past week with all the new things happening and the changes occuring, but it’s dying down a bit. Hopefully, in the next few weeks I’ll feel a little more settled.

Blessings,
Cassandrah
Brigid’s Flame